tlcorbinThings to do When the Internet is Down
June 6th 2008 15:14
Write and post a blog spoof that inspires never ending comments: avoid titles like, Remember SCUM, it will suck the soles from your shoes, and the rationale from your brain. After uploading the post, wait for the internet to crash, because it will if it can.
You can fix the porch n score points with the missus while plotting to annoy antagonists on your post with snarky remarks, but there are unforeseen repercussions: I've been unable to squeeze in a comment because of the staccato pace of this piece, a lack of friends with reliable internet service they’ll share and comments surge that has taken on a life of it own. As a result, in between my mentally impaired attempts to comment and waiting for internet service to be restored, I rebuilt the front porch rather than repair it.
You can drink yourself into oblivion; but for me, that’s a nuclear option, and I can’t take that much coffee, tea, chocolate, bladder problems you know, remnants of the war and search for intelligent life in political circles.
You can vent on the porch. While doing the typical AK male thing and cat cussing the fact I couldn't follow the post and venting my frustration on the old deck, there was an untimely accident. It (the porch)proved unable to take the stress test and fell apart ~ with only a minor boot or two. Guys don't do subtle.
You can try to be a hero to your mate. Tisha wishes to extend her heart felt thanks and is appealing for everyone to continue fanning the flames of conflagration until the 'Orange Monster' has been painted and will do her part by again suspending cable internet service in a timely manner to expedite the beasts beautification. But, as you may have noted, no good deed goes unpunished.
You can write sage advice to fellow bloggers, i.e., editing post comments to correct grammatical errors is an acceptable and reasonable practice, substantially modifying them isn't. After pilfering some one else’s blog photos, wait at least a week before using them; content, well, it’s only blog fodder, so do what you will. Don't quit your day jobs, and yes, that comment makes your butt look huge.
You can plot insults to religious institutions:
First the history lesson, and then
A favorite among those of the left coast persuasion
Catholic's can relate to that one
Theist's love this
This if for all of those humanists out there
Darwinists can relate to this
and lastly for those leftover
You can suck face with a speeding train, which is about as productive and entertaining as this past week has been.
Fortunately, the internet god's have spared me further abuse and I am again free to spread the love and joy of living in this odd insect infested world.
Raven
You can drink yourself into oblivion; but for me, that’s a nuclear option, and I can’t take that much coffee, tea, chocolate, bladder problems you know, remnants of the war and search for intelligent life in political circles.
You can write sage advice to fellow bloggers, i.e., editing post comments to correct grammatical errors is an acceptable and reasonable practice, substantially modifying them isn't. After pilfering some one else’s blog photos, wait at least a week before using them; content, well, it’s only blog fodder, so do what you will. Don't quit your day jobs, and yes, that comment makes your butt look huge.
You can plot insults to religious institutions:
First the history lesson, and then
A favorite among those of the left coast persuasion
Catholic's can relate to that one
Theist's love this
This if for all of those humanists out there
Darwinists can relate to this
and lastly for those leftover
You can suck face with a speeding train, which is about as productive and entertaining as this past week has been.
Fortunately, the internet god's have spared me further abuse and I am again free to spread the love and joy of living in this odd insect infested world.
Raven
| 62 |
| Vote |
Shared on
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
Odd insects, oh, that explains what is always bothering me around Orble, there are so many of them and yes, they are decidedly odd, not few in number.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Raven
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
And just about every blighter I meet up with here plays the same game, at my expense of course, while they cling precariously to their 'friends' not realizing it's here to-day, gone to-morrow. Ah, yes, I remember it well. A slippery slope, indeed.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
I am never surprised at the humanness of my fellow man; but their display of humaneness never fails to amaze and delight me.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Raven
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Raven
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Raven