Senior HiJinks - A List
January 11th 2008 19:24
IF THE ORTHOPEDIC SHOE FITS, WEAR IT
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS FROM Senior’s sent to me from an undisclosed source who may be an undocumented illegal alien of Eskimo descent, working for the state of Alaska (a friend), who crept into this country in the dark of night to unleash a storm of old humor, which follows:
Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find younger, sexy men who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 65 year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting wrinkles every time you walk by a mirror?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 65 year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 65 year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 65 year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 65 year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."
Q: Is sex still an integral part of your relationship when you’re over 65?
A: “Sure, it ranks right up there, usually somewhere after a backrub or foot massage.”
Q: What role has memory played in your sex fantasies?
A: “Although I remember how, I can’t remember why?
Q: What, if anything, is positive about dementia or Alzheimer's?
A: "All of the new friends you meet every day already know your name."
Add your own quips and pass it along.
I'm off to return the mobile filing system for all of the Campaign Promises being shared across the USA.
Raven
Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find younger, sexy men who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 65 year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting wrinkles every time you walk by a mirror?
A: Take off your glasses.
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 65 year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 65 year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 65 year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."
Q: Is sex still an integral part of your relationship when you’re over 65?
A: “Sure, it ranks right up there, usually somewhere after a backrub or foot massage.”
Q: What role has memory played in your sex fantasies?
A: “Although I remember how, I can’t remember why?
Q: What, if anything, is positive about dementia or Alzheimer's?
A: "All of the new friends you meet every day already know your name."
I'm off to return the mobile filing system for all of the Campaign Promises being shared across the USA.
Raven
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Comment by katyzzz
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YOU sexist ageist rotten bastard, YOU.
katyzzz....I find lots of sexy younger men, so cop that dude, but I'm fussy, want one who wants to hold my hand.(and whose hand I want to hold, makes life very demanding)
Comment by tlcorbin
Comment by sandeye
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
This was so good for a giggle! With my vast imagination I can already tell where the aches will be at 65....And foot and backrubs are already right up there! Thanks for the laughs..
Comment by tlcorbin