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Is Why - December 2007

Power Hiking Alaskan Wraiths-Part 1

December 1st 2007 18:08

This is me, prehike, filled with unbridled excitement at the prospect of hiking in 29F weather. The sun was shining so brightly that sunglasses or welding hoods were going to be required accessories. As you might have noticed, I am hair impaired! What does that mean? I'm gonna die of frost bitten sun burnt ears, sweat is going to freeze on top of my head, my attention span is going south to Hawaii and the rest of me is going to be feeling pretty damn miserable and unmanly very shortly. I could see the hand writing on the wall.

The morning started out well enough, Tisha had a dental appointment with a sadistic escapee from a mental slash dental school; and I just knew she was going to want retreat to her home couch when she was loosed from that torture chamber.

Life was looking pretty good for me, she'd want to go home, I'd deliver us there, then I'd work on the web site, draft a couple of blogs, paint a little, snack like a starved anorexic pig at a trough and drink copious amounts of overly tasty hot chocolate. Yup, she'd snooze and loose, and I would be getting things accomplished. Ah, the simplicity of the plan, it held out so much promise. Oh wayward dreamer.

What a short sighted dummy that not so grand schemer turned out to be. Tisha came bounding out of the dentists office smiling, chatting and I swear, she was laughing! Laughing. Go figure, it started to sink in, that gnawing suspicion of pending doom. I keep forgetting about the resilience of these tough Alaskan women. An oversight that demanded a brutal recompense from this author. Because, heh, the situation got even better.

Our great buddy and adopted daughter decided to help my precious wife exorcise the fat demons out of me, personally. Left with no where to hide because they both can easily run me down, I grudgingly agreed to go for a short walk; not a hike-a walk.

Sure, both of the devilish little pixies agreed to the terms and off they bounded like two happy puppies going out for a romp. Here's how that went visually. The two pot licker's left me in the dust, fog or something like that. For almost an hour all I got to see was their backsides. So to get even someone took unflattering pictures of their butts. Luckily it was cold enough outside to keep the photographers ever so sparse and apparently empty head from bruising after being thumped a bit.

When we reached the end of the trail, they posed for a few minutes and were off again. It's like trying to grasp shadows when they get into this mode. The mini cretons. The next time someone proffers sage advice about women being the weaker sex, pow, that person is getting bonked on the topknot.

Trudging in the reverse direction, the two angelic looking fiends broke into their power walking mode. It was an awe inspiring sight, really it was, truly.

Two forest sprites mocking and laughing at me for what seemed like an hour as we headed back to our vehicle and the promise of a hot lunch and warm beverage. The thought was so comforting that it sustained me for the entire journey back to the vehicle. In spite of their tumultuous continuous upraising.

When I arrived, they were, stretching and doing aerobics, have they no mercy or a modicum of tenderness beneath their frozen parkas? Arrrgh, the pitiless hags! I would get even and began hatching a vengeful plot.

This sordid tale is getting long, so stand by for Part 2.

Raven, love is why.

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[ Previous - Power Walking Alaskan Wraiths-Part 2 ]

Comments

11 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by katyzzz

December 1st 2007 20:33

Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art

Did you have comfortable shoes on or were you beyond all pain with your brain blacked out?

Life can be so cruel and the fair sex ungraciously unkind as drawing on the elements they sustain themselves.

Next time offer to follow them in the car in case one of them hurts themselves,

What a gorgeous child!

No, Raven, not you silly.

Comment by Anonymous

December 1st 2007 22:26

Dear god in heaven katyzzz, I pleaded with them to let me drive to the other end, but noooo, they pointed out I would have to cross a river, a float plane pond and a commercial airport runway so they advised against it.

Those girls are tough, phew!

Either Toady or the boy is my grandson, I get them confused sometimes. They're usually both in hot pursuit of bug and small snakes, so you can understand the confusion.

Raven

Comment by Anonymous

December 1st 2007 22:29

Wow that's to weird? I don't remember clicking on a button to leave a comment katyzzz, anyway this is my first posts to this site. Loved your comments. Raven

Comment by tlcorbin

December 1st 2007 22:31

Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle

Well, darn, katyzz, I got logged off without realizing it. Something I'll have to watch out for. Raven

Comment by katyzzz

December 1st 2007 23:14

Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art

Congrats on the grandchild (frog/toad) - the child is much better looking.

Comment by Mountain Fog

December 2nd 2007 00:07

Infognito

Raven,
you have a very handsome family, cane toad has a great smile on it too!

I think we share similar views on exercise by the sounds of it. I get mine shopping for groceries, carrying the pug up and even down stairs sometimes and typing...lots of typing...the most exercised part of my body!

I have very svelte fingers and overall, my wrists and hands look very athletic, almost Olympian.

Looking forward to the next piece, especially the hot chocolate!

cheers

fog

Comment by Damo

December 2nd 2007 04:51

For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics

29 F
what is that in metric?

Comment by tlcorbin

December 2nd 2007 05:31

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A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle

Yup, that Toady is one handsome fella, the little guy holding him is my grandson fog, and life exploration coach.

That darn exercise thing really is highly over rated; I do a touch toe every morning, isometrics are accomplished via drinking copious amounts of chocolate laced coffee, eating, pounding a keypad, brandishing paint brushes and fighting off body functions trying to interrupt my efforts and the struggle to carry trash to the curb.

Hmmm, I guess these paws are svelte in a brickish sort of way. Oh yeah! The hot chocolate parade is on it's way and should be online now as Part 2.

Geez Damo, I couldn't find the darn Fahrenheit symbol on they keypad anywhere. It's there, I just couldn't find it. But then, it could be a secret frozen butt scale that goes from 1F to 50F. At 29F, anatomical things begin hiding, your nose drips copious amount of noxious fluids, your butt starts crackling while you walk, and your shorts disappear for a week. Yea, that's it.

Thanks guys, great fun. Hey, how come no one let me know I had a cone head?? Wow, it looks like a bullet. Raven

Comment by tlcorbin

December 2nd 2007 05:38

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A Global Citizen
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Is Why
Alaska Chronicle

Oh, sorry Damo, -1.67Celcius, I forgot to answer your query. Raven

Comment by Damo

December 2nd 2007 07:11

For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics

-2 C is not so bad.
Frosty but liveable.

Comment by tlcorbin

December 2nd 2007 13:38

Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle

Ah, Damo, there's was another qualifier involved, that 29F was the temperature when we started walking- in the sunshine, when we walked towards the glacier it dropped several more degrees; I think historically it's about 7 to 10F colder nearer the Mendenhall Glacier. Raven

[ Previous - Power Walking Alaskan Wraiths-Part 2 ]

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