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A Ravens view of issues that are Humorous, Relevant and Personal. “Would these words make the lost soul, bereft of hope nod his head and smile or throw up?”

Is Why - April 2008

Gross Cramps, a list

April 3rd 2008 22:27
Where is the worst place to get a cramp?

Here’s starter list.

For men:
My ear – I thought I’d broken it off it hurt so much
My penis - dear god in heaven this was rude
My scrotum – try peeing with that, the bathroom hasn’t smelled the same since
My feet bottoms – from standing on ladder rungs all day, it should be a gitmo standard
My toes – I’ve finally learned not to kick doors open, not with bare feet
My fingers – never scratch your eyes or pick your nose when this happens
My hands – they went spastic and turned into crab claws from the cold

My tongue – turned me into a cartoon caricature and made me long for a brain freeze
My eyelids – more of a spasm, but, I thought I was being possessed
My rectum – unholy lighting bolts up the wazoooo
My legs – calves usually, these only send me to the showers
My throat – an instant dietary aide

For women:
Her lips - helpful for putting on lipstick but little else
Her nipples - burns like the fire of hell
Her vaginal parts - menstrual hell or sexual bliss
Her ovaries - see rectum reference above

I'm afraid to go further .So, what’s your contribution?

Raven

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Comments
4 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Kleonaptra

April 3rd 2008 22:53
*giggles*

I used to be woken in the middle of the night with cramps in my calves which were bad. Its so cold in here right now I cant feel my fingers - its making typing interesting, I'll tell ya!

Worst of the worst would be the ones that happen under my shoulder blades....They numb my whole arm and make my fingers jerk while Im ripped apart in agony. I also agree heartily with the ovaries up there - no fun.

Comment by tlcorbin

April 3rd 2008 23:04
Yeah, I'm sure that there will something we can all identify with kleo. Oh, yeah, the shoulder blade cramps, missed that one. Raven

Comment by katyzzz

April 4th 2008 04:15
Not nice, I'm leaving, like the penguin.

Comment by tlcorbin

April 4th 2008 10:10

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