tlcorbinThe Value of a Woman's non-Sexual Touch
December 9th 2007 19:48
When, after failing miserably in two marriages, I set aside a block of time to re-evaluate my attitudes about women, and literally studied the subject. Breaking the cycle of instant arousal due to the close proximity and touch of a woman proved to be very tough. It was how I was taught to relate to women. And after many years of being alone and drifting about Alaska and the world meeting different ladies, short, tall, fat, skinny, young and old, educated or not, I tried dating them all. Until one day, eureka! I finally realized the kind of person I didn't want to share my life with, from my dating experiences, and made up a mental list of those things I found desirable; sex being exiled to the bottom of the list. With it, I discovered that my libido had calmed down and that a womans touch wasn't an automatic invite to an intimate rendezvous (necessarily). Yup, it was a concept that was alien to my psyche during my formative years.
So, what did this do for me? Armed with that mental list of desirable qualities, I eventually met and married my wife. We laugh, play and explore the world and each other with reckless abandon. When my anxiety or even my anger starts to skyrocket and lurch out of control, she only needs to touch me, and I snap back to the moment, calming down. I have combat related PTSD and it causes some interesting angst in my life. For example: dentists from my perspective are demon spawn hellions with a license to torture innocents, which if true, means that I am in for a treat for not being a signatory of the 'innocents' genre.
But, for my last three major dental visits, affairs that normally evoked fear, trepidation and trembling to rear their ugly heads, I passed through them with a certain amount of calm. Earlier, I met the doctor and his female assistant. They were made aware of the unreasoning monster that accompanies me before any of the procedures began. This tactic worked; every time that I would start to tense, and the auto defense system would start to kick in, the assistant would touch my face or my arm to reassure me. It was like my wife was there and all three visits were virtually stress free: this, because of a woman's non-sexual touch.
Why is this important? Women, I've noticed, have this innate ability to read body language better than men, and a nurturing nature. They will touch each other to help heal or to carry each other through trying situations. And, for the first time in my life, I fully appreciate that quality without getting all heated up.
Raven
| 91 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
Comment by Patricia Graff
Inside my Mind
Free Speech
I'm glad you've found peace.
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
I have to remind myself that understanding is a process that never ends. Sometimes I think too much or not enough, accept everything and nothing... I don't know. I think I'm talking about other things now.
Anyway yes, Patricia's right - thought provoking.
Michaelie
Comment by Krystal
feelings
I think both males and females could learn a lot from this. Well done.
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
hahahaha, so true!
I haven't ever been in the army but I assure you I hold that same opinion of dentists. I always wonder how large their sadistic grins are behind those face masks they wear as they chizel and drown their way to gratification.
Perhaps there's a conspiracy with dentists, perhaps they're all sadistic nuts looking for ever more painful ways to hurt us. If you think about it there's a lot of logic to it, for instance, why do they drill holes in your teath in the name of filling the holes up? Isn't that supposed to be counter productive? Also, why is it when they're vacuming out that blood in your mouth they find th eneed to pour cold water in your mouth? they're trying to suck the liquids out yet thye put liquids in.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Never have your dental needs attended to at a dental shop named the "Little shop of Dental Horrors", I should explore my abhorrence of all things dental, ...again.
I cringed when I read your comments, there they were, all of my dentals fears, laid bared to the bone and as exposed, as were the nerves of my teeth during a root canal. Arrrgh. Raven
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
yay! a man who finally gets women! Can you start teaching in schools please? There are many generations of young men coming into the world who need to be taught these life lessons!
I`m glad you have found happiness at last. Cheers!
Ash
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
And, much to my chagrin and dismay, I was faculty chair-the end result of being a slow runner, but I was trapped in a corner and couldn't get up to speed fast enough to get out of the job.
There really is a need for young men to be taught by older male role models about interacting with woman on a non-sexual basis. These older males need to subject themselves to peer review to maintain a clearly defined level of decorum and hold themselves accountable for those things they teach.
But locker room attitudes nearly always manage to weasel it's butt into men discussing gender issues while in a group, herd or pack. Most won't learn a thing about relationships until taught by their wives or girlfriends.
Raven